The fact that in my last post (back in September) I said I was setting a goal to start blogging once a week and this is the first time I’ve written anything is very discouraging to me.  It seems to be the story of my life in that I always have these great intentions of stuff I want to do and then I never seem to be able to follow-through on it.  Like Pink says in her song, I sometimes feel like “I’m my own worst enemy.”

So what’s the solution to this problem?  I’ve discovered it can be summed up in one word- DISCIPLINE.  Discipline is something I’m severely lacking in my life and that’s not a good thing.  Sure I’m good at making all kinds of excuses but at the end of the day it still comes down to the fact that I don’t always do what I know I should do (didn’t Paul have a whole section in one of his letters with that theme?).

Since I know discipline is the problem, how do I go about becoming more disciplined?  I’m learning that you have to take things one at a time; and beyond that, one day at a time.  I’m starting to set small goals for myself for areas of my life in which I need to be more disciplined.  Its started with my sleeping habits– I’ve been working on sleeping in my own bed instead of the couch every night and also at waking up on time so that I can get to work on time.  I’m doing much better but I know I still need to improve.

The next goal I believe will involve going to the gym and on a spiritual level, I want to start reading through the Bible using The Message daily devotional.  I bought it a couple weeks ago and now its time to start reading, one day at a time.  I’ll let you know how it goes =)

So I’ve decided I’m not very good at this whole “blogging” thing.  It’s not that I don’t have anything to write about (trust me- I have plenty I want to say!), its just that I never seem to find the time to sit down and write out my thoughts.  This is kind of a reflection of how my life is right now– so many ideas/goals/intentions that are never realized or accomplished because I can’t find the time to get them done.

Now, I’m the first to admit that the whole “not finding time” thing is my fault.  I recognize that the biggest thing I’m lacking in right now is DISCIPLINE.  Its not like I have any less hours in my day than everyone else- I just don’t know how to properly manage them.

I’ve decided that the only way to help myself with this problem is to set little goals.  When I look at what I want to do as a whole, I get overwhelmed to the point where I don’t do anything.  So, my goal for the next week is to write down my goals =)

First goal is probably going to be to start blogging at least once a week.  I don’t know if anyone ever reads my blogs but at least its an outlet for me to express my thoughts, feelings, frustrations, etc. so I want to continue doing it at least for myself.  Here goes nothing!

It’s August which means its Back to School time!  I haven’t been “back to school” since August 2004 – five whole years ago – but I still get excited around this time of year.  Why?  4 words: Back to School shopping!

I still get so excited when I walk into Target or Wal-Mart and they have their special section up with all the new school supplies.  I no longer have a list to go by but I love browsing through to see if there is anything I “need”.  A box of Crayola Crayons for $1?  I’m sure I would use them sometime =)  One thing I’ve been searching for this year and have yet to find is a top-bound spiral notebook with a pretty design on the front.  For whatever reason I have decided these are my new favorite kinds of notebooks so I’ve been on a search for some to use for various things.  So far my search has been unsuccessful but I will keep looking.

Aside from a few minor supplies, my big “back to school” shopping purchase this year was a Macbook Pro.  I’m not one of those “crazy Apple-obsessed people” (at least not yet!) but I’ve been wanting a laptop and I felt this was the best option just because of their performance and security.  I’m still trying to figure this thing out but luckily I have lots of Mac friends that can help me out =)

Aside from the excitement this time of year brings, there is one major negative: TRAFFIC.  Yes, school starts back and traffic gets worse.  I’m not looking forward to driving to work Monday morning but I know I’ll get used to it like I have to every year.

In honor of Monday, I might just have to put “Grease 2″ in to watch the opening number as they sing “Back to School Again” and wish that I had gone to a high school where we sang and danced all the time =)

The sudden passing of Michael Jackson took me back to the day I heard that Princess Di had suddenly died and the thoughts I had at that time.  Both cases were world-wide reminders that no one really knows how much time they have here on this earth.  People around the world are grieving and I can’t help but grieve with them– not for the life that was lost but for those that are still living who are lost.  I also grieve with the thought that someone who was so loved here on earth might now be spending eternity apart from Christ.  I of course do not know the hearts of MJ, Princess Di, or any other “high profile” deaths but it does make me wonder.  I do hope that they are in Heaven right now but I believe that is only the case if they accepted the free gift of salvation that comes through faith in Jesus Christ.  No matter how “good” someone is here on this earth, or how many people love and adore them, its not good enough to get into Heaven.

The words of  MJ’s “Will You Be There” take on a new meaning as I think of someone who was contstantly under the scrutiny of the public eye, lonely at times, and viewed as something more than human when he was in fact, just a man, with the same fears and hurts that all of us have.

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I’m Only Human

Everyone’s Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World’s
Got A Role For Me
I’m So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You’ll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me

And then the words spoken at the end:

[Spoken]
In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tripulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I’ll Never Let You Part
For You’re Always In My Heart.

I am thankful that in my darkest hour and my deepest despair that my Savior DOES care for me.  HE is the only answer for our hurting world.  Are we as Christians using our time to share this message of hope with those around us?  Are we living in such a way that they see Christ in our lives and are we taking the opportunities to show Christ to them?  Will we be there for them and care enough to point them to the One who can take away all of their burdens?

My Confessions aren’t nearly as “scandelous” as Usher’s so I thought I would go ahead and share…

• I have a serious sugar addiction.
• I can not for the life of me successfully back into a parking space.
• I consider myself a true Southern even though some would say growing up in Atlanta doesn’t qualify.
• Some people say I’m a “bad” or “scary” driver.  I like to think of it as defensive driving (I grew up in Atlanta, remember?).
• My true natural hair color is dark brown, even though I seem to say/do a lot of stuff that would make people think I’m a blonde.
• Despite being an introvert, I have been known to break out into a dance routine in front of large groups of people.
• The biggest talent I don’t have and wish that I did is the ability to sing.  If I had a great voice, I would be on stage performing any chance I had!
• I have never been to the Georgia Aquarium and I don’t plan on going anytime in the near future as fish, etc. kind of freak me out.
• I have read the whole Twilight series and I totally love it (I’m even planning on going to the convention next month!).
• Animals in general kind of freak me out– I think its a control thing.  I like small dogs though =)
• I love all things Coca-Cola.
• I’m a pretty picky eater, yet I have recently discovered that I like sushi, especially dipped in eel sauce!
• I miss the 90s.
• I will probably always love ‘N Sync.
• I want to own a black Cadillac Escalade one day.
• My heart belongs to God, my family, and the Georgia Bulldogs.

I’m sure there are lots more I could put on here so I’m just going to leave this as “Part I”.

I feel the need to vent a little bit about one of my biggest “pet peeves”– I’m not really sure if that’s the way to classify this but that’s what I’m going with.  I get so annoyed with advertisements that are centered around how one company is better than their competitior.  Here are some examples:

• D. Gellar and Son – This one is top of the list!  All of their advertisements seem to be trying to make fun of Shane Company and its spokesperson, Tom Shane.  They come right out and try to make Shane Co. look bad with their imitations of Tom Shane and their making fun of Shane Co’s tag line.  I get annoyed everytime I hear that commercial and because of this, I will never shop there nor do I ever want anyone to buy me something from there!
• Pepsi - I don’t know what commercials they’ve had on TV recently since I seem to only watch TV on my DVR where I fast forward through the commercials, but I do remember one of the famed Pepsi commercials where they were showing a Coke delivery guy drinking a Pepsi.  That one stands out in my mind, however I know there have been more where they have intintentionally called Coke out and made reference to them in their advertisement on a quest to show that they are the “better brand”.  Regardless of the advertising, however, I have always been and will always be a Coke drinker.  I’m a native Atlantan and I love all things Coke– that alone makes me dislike Pepsi and the ads only seem to make it worse.
• Burger King –  I feel they are always trying to compare the Whopper to the Big Mac to show how much better they are.  It sometimes seems they can’t do a commercial– whether on the radio or TV without throwing McDonald’s name in there somehow.  I have never liked Burger King (especially their fries) but this makes me really not like them.
• Altell Wireless – All of their commericals these days involve the Altell guy (Chad, I think) and his 4 “friends” who all represent the other wireless networks.  Is the only way to promote yourself by making fun of your competition?  Again, I hate this advertising and it makes me never want to join Altell.  I am a huge advocate of Verizon so I probably wouldn’t entertain the idea anyway but this just confirms that for me.

I am sure there are countless others that I’ve forgot about here.  I think all these companies should have enough confidence in their product where they can sell it for what it is and stop relying on these comparisons and essential trashing of the competition.  Maybe for some people this marketing gimic makes them choose the product when they see how “bad” the competition is but for me– it makes me all the more willing to choose the other guy.

P.S. When trying to come up with a song title for this post, the only song that kept popping into my head is the little ditty “Anything you can do, I can do better.  I can do anything better than you.”  I’m not even sure where that came from but this type of advertising makes me picture two little kids on the playground with one of them trying to taunt the other because they think they are so much better.  So to all these companies that like to make fun of the competition in their advertising – grow up!

Thanks to the wonderful world of Twitter (which I now check more than Facebook), I get all kinds of great links from the various people I follow.  Today someone passed along the link below, which is a sermon excerpt that really conveys how I feel and what my belief has always been in relation to guys and dating.  It’s only about 6 minutes long and worth a listen, especially if you’re single:

http://vimeo.com/2083483

This is one of the reasons I hate the feminist movement.  Girls have let guys get off the hook to where they now think they can just sit back and a girl will ask them out.  As the guy in the video says, “Step up and be a man!”  I am very traditional in my values and I think that guys should be pursuing girls and not the other way around.  Our society makes us as girls believe that if we are interested in a guy, we have to go after him.  So now the tables are turned and guys are the ones who can just sit back and relax ’cause they figure that if a girl is interested she will approach him.  THIS IS NOT HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE!

People give me a hard time because they say I’m being too picky but is it wrong to want to be pursued? 

Possibly more on this subject to come…

So, I’m not very good at updating this thing but I am going to try to be better at it.  Last Wendnesday my surrogate little sister Ashley (or AK as I like to call her) flew up to Atlanta to hang out with me for a few days.  I hadn’t seen her since we went to Hawaii together last June so I was excited for her visit and especially excited because she was coming in town to go to the Britney concert with me!  When the 2 of us get together, there is always shopping involved so we decided to go to Atlantic Station on Thursday (I had taken the day off work).  Luckily the weather here has been FABULOUS since our random snow storm so it was perfect outside.

The concert was Thursday night and it was AMAZING!  Last time I saw Britney in concert it was for her “Oops” tour back in 2000 or 2001, when I was still in high school.  I have always been a big Britney fan just because I think she is a great performer.  Yes, I know she doesn’t get up there and sing all the songs by herself but she knows how to put on a show!  I am much more into dancing and performance than I am the actual singing/music. 

I think one of the reasons I love Britney is because she’s essentially living my dream.   I would love the chance to go on stage every night and perform in front of people.  I used to say my dream job would be to be a backup dancer for someone like Britney or ‘N Sync (back when they were together).  I still would probably call it my dream job but its no longer practical.  Everyone always says you should follow your dream but I think I missed the boat on that.  My biggest regret in life is that I stopped taking dancing when I was 11.  I think I had lost the passion at that age and then I never let myself get back in it.  If I had stuck with it, who knows where I would be today.  Obviously, God had different plans for me and I’m still on a quest to discover exactly what those plans are.  In the meantime, I still love letting my “performer” side come out from time to time.  Somehow all my shyness goes away when I’m dancing– I guess I get “lost” in the music or something.

From “Circus” by Britney Spears:

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
spotlight on me and I’m ready to break
I’m like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
better be ready, hope that ya feel the same

Song title for today’s post comes from Billy Ray Cyrus.  Its one of my favorite songs, however the rest of the song really has nothing to do with what my post is going to be about– just the title.

As I was leaving work yesterday, I got a call from my dad informing me that he just heard on the news that there was a fire at the Willows, which is my condo complex.  He said he didn’t know which building it was and asked if I knew anyone who I could call.  I of course don’t really know my neighboors, never the less have their phone numbers so I started getting nervous.  Luckily I remembered I had the number of our property management group so I called our lady there to try to get some information.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief when she told me the fire was in another building.  The link below is to the video from WSB TV about the fire:

http://www.wsbtv.com/video/18642600/index.html

At the same time the wave of relief hit me, I was also hit with anxiety and worry and sadness all at the same time.  You hear about house fires all the time but this one literally hit close to home for me.  I couldn’t help but think “it could’ve been me” and that of course sent me off thinking about what it would be like to come home from work and realize that you have lost everything.  I started thinking about all the stuff I have in my house and how hard it would be to replace all of it.  I wouldn’t even know where to start trying to rebuild.  I’m lucky to have my parents close by and I know that if anything like that were to ever happen, I would have a place to stay with them and they would help me get back on my feet. 

And that brings me to the sadness part.  What about all those people who were actually affected by the fire?  Did any of them have friends or family here that they could stay with?  My complex is a diverse group so I’m sure some of the residents were couples and families, which I imagine would be so much harder.  I can’t even begin to comprehend the loss they are feeling.  There is a part in the video where you see a woman just collapsing in anguish and seeing that just broke my heart.

And so another emotion came– confusion.  I couldn’t help but wonder– why wasn’t it me?  I feel that God has already blessed me so much in life and this was just another picture of Him taking care of me.  It could have easily been my house that the fire destroyed.  I could’ve lost everything but I didn’t.  Why was I spared while 14 other families lost everything?  I know its not because I’m a “good” person.  I feel like I have been spared from so much so I feel that should be a sign that God has something big planned for my life, I just haven’t seen what that is yet.  It makes me wonder how well I am glorifying Him in my daily life.

I feel I fall so short of where I should be and I know where that place is and the ways in which I should be trying to get there, yet I don’t seem to do it.  It is so bad to admit but sometimes I wish that God would break me, like He’s broken so many others, to the point where I have no where else to turn but to Him.  I know its probably wrong to wish that kind of pain on myself  but I just get so frustrated in my own human efforts in which I continuously fail that I feel like I need to get to that place of brokenness.  I have seen the effect it has had on other people around me and their relationship with God as a result is something I long for.  So how do I get myself to that place if God chooses not to break me?  How do you get to the point where you realize God is your only hope when He has blessed you with such a great life here on earth?

I picked the song for this blog title since it is the ultimate Disney World song.  Its a little late but here’s a quick recap of my roadtrip to Orlando with Tatum:

I picked Tatum up from Buckhead Church on Tuesday, December 30 and we began the 6.5 hour drive down south (noticed its not capitalized because Florida is not part of the South, there is a difference).  We were armed with my iPod so we rocked out to some old-school teen pop (specifically ‘N Sync) which made it really fun.  About the time we were getting hungry for dinner, we were approaching Gainesville, FL so we pulled off in my UGA-decked out car and proceeded to go to a Chick-fil-A inside the mall- me in my red UGA shirt and black track suit (I might have also been wearing my Georgia flip-flops).  Suprisingly, no one said anything to us.  We grabbed our food to go and continued on our way.  We checked in our hotel and then Tatum made me go work out with her in the fitness room (which wasn’t much).

Wednesday was Disney day!  We got up early in an effort to get to the parks when they opened so we could try to get ahead of some of the crowds.  First stop was Hollywood Studios (formally known as MGM).  I had never been so I wanted to make sure we got that one in.  I was lucky to be traveling with such a Disney expert because she knew right what we needed to do and where to go.  We grabbed fast passes for Tower of Terror and then stood in line for the Rock ‘n Roller Coaster.  We did a few other things in the park and then we decided to head out to grab some lunch and then go to another park.  We grabbed us some Subway and then headed to the Magic Kingdom.  I was so excited because it would be the first time I had been in 18 years!  We waited in line to get through the gates but then when we got up to the booth, they informed us that the park was CLOSED!!!  Apparently they were at capacity and couldn’t let anymore people in!!!  I was so incredibly bummed!  They gave us this little card with a number on it where we could call to check the status of the park.  After a lot of driving around and trying to think of what we should do, we decided to go check out Epcot while we waited to see if some people would clear out of Disney.  I had never been to Epcot either so I wanted to at least walk through to see what it was all about.

I think I forgot to mention that we had bought a park hopper pass and also you just have to pay for parking once and then that ticket is good to park at any other park– that’s how we were able to so freely go around to wherever.

Epcot wasn’t closed but there were a TON of people there because all the rides had ridiculously long lines!  The shortest line we found was 70 minutes and the longest was 250 minutes!  We decided to go with the shortest, which was the GM Fast Track.  We stood in the single rider line since that’s the one with a 70 minute wait– we figured it would be fine if we didn’t get to ride together.  Well, just so happens there was a Disney employee standing out there who was asking trivia questions and whoever got it right got free fast passes.  We didn’t get the first 2 she asked but then everyone kept pushing her to do 1 more.  This time I was armed and ready with my Blackberry and I won!  Tatum and I got 2 fast passes that put us way ahead in line.  I don’t think Tatum would’ve lasted if we hadn’t gotten them =)  After the ride we walked through the International section and I made Tatum take tons of pics in the China section.  When we finished that tour we explored the Imagine secion (can’t remember exactly what its called) where they have different games and stuff you can try out.  Tatum and I starred in our own video game and then we got to ride some Segways.  All this time we were constantly calling the Disney number to get the status of the Magic Kingdom and it finally said it was open!  We left Epcot and decided we would go grab dinner before heading over.  Our logic was that it was late in the day and so all the families had probably gone home and we would have no trouble getting in (this was New Years Eve remember).

We found an Outback for dinner which ended up being a terrible experience.  They somehow lost our order so it took FOREVER to get our food.  We ate pretty quick once we got it and then we were in a hurry to get to Magic Kingdom.  We asked for our checks, which we got and immediately gave our credit cards.  Then for whatever reason it took them forever to run our cards– like 15 minutes or so!  Needless to say we were really ready to get out of there!  We headed over to Magic Kingdom and when we got to the gate– get this– we were told they were closed AGAIN!  I asked the guy how long they had been closed because we had called the number and they said they were open and apparently they closed 10 MINUTES before we got there (stupid Outback!!!!).  There was no hope of them opening again because it was already like 9 PM. 

I was really frustrated and stressing at this moment so we pulled in a gas station to figure out what we were going to do.  I was determined to be out somewhere for new years!  After I got some sugar in my system, I calmed down and we decided we would just go back to Hollywood Studios.  It turned out to be pretty good because we got to see it all lit up (there were tons of lights!) and we did some shopping that we didn’t get to do earlier in the day.  We stayed on the main street to watch the fireworks and then we booked it out of there to try to beat all the traffic.  Overall it was a pretty fun day.

Thursday (New Years Day) was the Georgia bowl game, which we thankfully won.  Afterwards we decided to go to Downtown Disney, which was really cool.  I wished we would’ve had more time to spend there.  I got a few more souviners for a trip and Tatum was all about finding some Tigger stuff for little Luke Franklin (one of the cutest kids ever!).

Okay, so I really abbreviated the end since this is turning into the longest post ever.  Overall it was a really fun trip (especially since it was like 70+ degrees down there!).  Here are links to the pics we took for those of you who haven’t already seen them on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2480113&l=36dfd&id=4910683

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2480132&l=54446&id=4910683